When was the last time you did something for the first time?

October 21, 2009.

I booked a Cebu Pacific flight to Cebu for a day trip.

I didn't tell anyone.

October 30, 2009.

Packed a small nylon backpack with a camera, my toiletries, wallet, and ticket. Got on the cab to the airport. Not knowing what to expect at all. I got in 2 hours early!

Waited in the terminal tempted to sleep.

Got on the plane.

Arrived in Cebu Mactan International Airport 15 minutes late.

Jose picked me up.

We had Sutukil!

Which was fish prepared three ways. The head was made into soup, like broth. The body was grilled. The tail left raw and soaked in vinegar (kilawin). It was extremely delicious and I ate most of it.

Afterwards, we met up with my beloved sorority batchmates, Jori and Tal who were checked in at Shangri-la Mactan.

I spent the day lounging around, having ice cream, walking barefoot in the Lobby, and waging water fights with Jori!

It was a day well spent. Mostly uneventful lounging around and eating!

That was until I rebooked my flight since my friends convinced me to stay over.

That was until my original 11pm flight got cancelled.

That was until I was on the ultimate panic mode since I was so dead if I turned out stranded in Cebu for 2 days.

But but but...

It was all good.

Because my friends kept me sane.

Jose was right when he told me that something bad was bound to happen since I didn't tell the parentals I planned a Cebu getaway.

But it not without good intentions!

I didn't want them to worry.

It was just something I wanted to do. I wanted challenge the boundaries I've set for myself. I wanted to get to know that side of my that wasn't always bent on certainty.

And if I did tell, they'd be worried sick because of the storm Santi that caused my flight to be cancelled. They'd be extremely anxious. I was! I was scared. I risked flying at 9:45 am the next day when signal no. 3 was still supposedly raging in Manila.

It was a lot of firsts for me.

And it made me realize how much I've risked.

And how much I have.

How much I've invested.

If it were not for the trip, there would still be a lot of what-ifs.

I don't really want to disclose particulars.

But for sure, I'm not as invincible as a figured myself to be. However, for at least a nanosecond, I felt free and infinite. And it was priceless.

At Timezone being competitive with Jori and Jose.

October 31, 2009.

Home safe and thankful.

And with Serenity prayer in mind,

I've learned to accept things I cannot change.

Mustered the courage to change what I can.

And gained the least bit wisdom to know the difference.

The empty airport

---

so for once in my life

let me get what i want

lord knows, it would be the first time

the smiths: "please, please, please, let me get what i want" (album "hatful of hollow", 1984)

Heroics of the Heart and Mind

These last few weeks have been numbing.
I thought detaching myself would make me numb to numbness.
Was I mistaken. It's made realize even more how pathetic I am thinking I'm some carefree happy rock! haha

Emotions, thoughts, to-dos, obligations- all in flurry. Like some headless chicken running around without a single coherent thought.

I yearn for some sort of divine intervention. Or some moment of truth. Like the ones in the movies.

Heck, movies have endings, life's "trivialities" don't. Movies always see to it that there's a point in the whole unfolding of events. In my reality, some things are so utterly pointless. But the outside reality a.k.a "Society" dictates we should make something out of it. In movies, generally, the good guy gets the girl or vice versa. In our life's drama, there isn't the stereotypical "good guy" or "good girl", they become who we perceive them to be.

Truth, as I've learned, is just it. Whatever It is.

Right now. My truth is failure.
The truth that failure is not good or bad. It's a relative of our friend Truth here because it, too, just is.

Why put color to it?


As hard and possibly excruciating as it is, I think I've swallowed my fair share of bitter pills and maybe even more, to the point of overdose.

And living with failure and trying to look it in the eye, daunting as it is, is a new breed of courage. Not the kind you find in battlefields, or Fear Factor, or even the kind you feel when you're a gazillion feet above the ground looking down. I think it's the kind of courage that doesn't come from that adrenaline rush or the moment, it's the courage that takes time, some coaxing, maybe. The courage that you have to summon from within, not knowing exactly from where. Courage that takes time and convincing and healing.

Even though when we think there's nothing to heal.

Sometimes, we think we're bold, unfazed, and unaffected.
But we end up foolhardy and sorry with our false bravado ever so apparent.
We're reckless with our thoughts and with our hearts, as if infinite and supreme.
But to our disappointment, we bleed.
Perhaps because we perceive ourselves to be so boundless that we end up ultimately hurting ourselves.
We refuse to think logically when our emotions are fired up.
We refuse to be feel when our thoughts are too condescending.

Heroics of the heart and mind. Vying for a spot in history. It's always an epic battle, one never won.

My failure has stopped me mid-air and just blew me away. Whirlwind!
I'm not ending this with an optimistic note.

I'm just beginning.
Beginning to understand how I can fall so hard, yet recover so quickly only to realize later that I've sustained some really dark bruises and trauma.

I just can't shut it out.
Because I have to deal with it.

No quick-fixes.
No band-aid cover-ups.

Really, there's no rush to gain clarity.
No better way to understand the mechanics but to take your time learning the rules and when to break them.

---

"Being miserable is easy. Being happy is tougher and cooler."

Thom Yorke (Radiohead)

I Blog to Cram

Take a picture:

Guard on a bike taken in Manila Bay. I love how the sky is the perfect shade of blue.

Soyyummy vendor. Doing his thing.

Love shoes! Taken at Greenhills Tiangge.

It's an emotional stage. The unknowing victim.

On a leash.

In love. Out of love.

Age is timeless.

Childhood. Can't let go. Childhood.

Should be studying Public Corporations.
Buuuut instead I'm dilly-dallying and blogging. It feels like a Sunday when it's only Friday.

I was browsing through the Sartorialist (click to check) and I just love his photos. Makes me want to go out and take pictures of random people.

And it made we want to share some of my own random people pictures. They may not be a glamorous but I'd like to think it's got some essence in it.

An everyday kind of wonderful.

This is how it feels

A Taste of Law School

I have already spent three years in law school. In a year or two, I will be graduating and yet my life in law school is still full of uncertainty. Surprisingly, my conversations with my fellow students revealed that I am not the only one facing the same dilemmas.

I remember the week before my life at the

College

of

Law

started… An officemate who also happened to be a law student told me to go out on gimmicks and attend to all my extracurricular activities before

I begin my law studies because I will not get enough opportunity to do all these once classes begin.

A lawyer-friend also told me to stop and take a good look at myself because in three years time,

I may not be able to recognize who I really am or the person I have become.

Another lawyer-friend also advised me to keep a little piece of myself safely tucked away

and not to let anyone get to me. I felt uneasy about the things I was told.

Studying law suddenly seemed very dangerous and I felt so helpless

and without any idea what studying law is all about.

I wondered hard what it takes to be in law school

and what mysteries lay ahead of me.

Soon enough, I have come to realize that law

school is a place where one can acquire power and privilege… or for many people here,

more power and privilege.

The scariest thing about law school is that its effects are irreversible.

Once you step through those doors

and become a pilgrim in search of a legal career,

your life is changed.

It is really a challenging process in a way

and I’ve got no choice but to undergo this process because I want to be a lawyer.

My first year at law school was a year of test which basically had the potential of making or breaking me. It is the period which determines if I should hold on to my dream of becoming a lawyer

or just content myself with being stuck up as

Human Resource Management practitioner in the government service.

After passing my Civil Law, Criminal Law, Constitutional Law and the rest of the freshmen subjects,

I told myself, “Kaya k o pala. This is a good sign for me to continue on with my legal career.”.

With this came the realization that all I have to do is to work hard and pray harder.

Soon enough, I found out that these two things, hardwork and prayers, are not enough.

Atty. Sol Mawis, my professor in Persons and Family Relations,

kept on telling us in class that

“we cannot survive

College

of

Law

alone,

and we should always pray as if we never prayed and study as if we never studied before”. Because of these reminders, I soon realized the need to befriend my classmates,

join study groups/group digest, and in the process,

learned about how to study law and do research with other people.

Together, we formed Digest Groups,

which is an effective means of helping law students

cope up with the voluminous case assignments.

While this helps, it also has a down side: it is not always a good idea to rely

on someone else’s digest;

one must also find time to read the cases in the original text.

It is also important to keep in mind that the people whom you meet in law school

will eventually become your colleagues and even potential adversaries

once one is already in the practice of law.

Therefore, it would help to bear in mind of the need to be in

good terms with them.

When I reached my second year at law school, I asked myself again,

“what more will I expect? More cases to digest and more law books to read?”

But this time, I’ve learned my lesson. I became a lot more aggressive

and more patience in reading and digesting cases.

Moreover, I became more systematic and more strategic in my studies.

I learned to set my daily schedules for the day,

from the time I wake up till the time I rest my stressful mind

and body from work and school.

I have kept a set of good friends who are always there to support me and

who never fails to secure and provide me a photocopy of SCRA for our assigned cases.

At this juncture, some of my friends and relatives approach me

and seek answers to some of their legal questions, even as they are aware

that I am only a law student. I had a particularly satisfying experience in that regard

when my cousin called me to ask how she should go about having her marriage

annulled because she was no longer happy with it. Thankfully, the question was covered during my freshmen days so I was able to give him a lot of information about marriage, annulment and even cite cases relative thereto. I felt very much like a lawyer. I was able to be authoritative, reserved and professional. I was even able to use legal language and probably too much of it. It felt very good to be playing this role of counselor. It also felt very good to impress my cousin.…

Another interesting aspect of being in law school is that, friends and family act differently toward me now that I am in it. Even strangers react differently when I am introduced as a law student. The down side of it is that some of my high school friends now seem to resent me or are uncomfortable with the fact that I am studying law.

These people may have no idea how hard it is to be in law school.

Studying law requires a lot of sacrifice, more sacrifices and still more and more sacrifices.

It is because there’s no elevator or easy way on becoming a lawyer,

you really have to take the stairs and you have to work all your night.

Despite of, or in spite of these, I have come to realize over the years that

this is what I want to be and what I want to do.

I want to become a lawyer and this is the price I pay. Nevertheless, I still have a lot of patience in life; for I believed that patience is a virtue.

After having a taste of what law school is and

while there may be a lot of uncertainty in my life at the law school,

I know that with determination, patience, consistent labouring on,

and much of God’s providence, I can turn myself into a lawyer.

Not just one, and hopefully not a mediocre one,

but also a

SUCCESSFUL LAWYER.
-----------------------------------------
*Taken from a lone blog. Unfortunately I couldn't the author of this post, just a pseudonym.

Something to look forward to

One thing I adore when going out is planning an outfit.
School starts soon and I used Polyvore to create my ideal back to school look.
With the horrid weather, a scarf and a blazer would be perfect.

Here's the look I want:

Back to school pretty by mmmarga featuring Prada bags

If only can find those Oxford or Brogue shoes like those here! It gives off an androgynous vibe which I love. So much punch and panache.

So yay! Something for me to be psyched about.haha

Blank

Ever since school ended it's like the start of "what-now?" season.
Summer's supposed supposed to be cool.
Yeah it was nice, fine, and good. But not cool.
I didn't get to go anywhere.

Well maybe Manila Ocean Park? (Click here if you wanna be all tourist-y). It was interesting and educational. You should try the Fish Spa where tiny fish nibble off dead skin from your feet. It's absolutely ticklish but amazing.

Oh, I did get to chill and spend a night at Subic Freeport with my blockmates. It was a fun, crazy, totally spontaneous. Bailey's was the drink of the night mixed with gin and everything else.

Been also doing some stuff for the sorority and bonding with the Batch.

But still I've spent most of it on my butt. Staring at the computer screen, googling, plurking, twittering, ym-ing, msn-ing, emailing, blogging, flickring, and trying to stream Heroes online and being Sims-obssessed. I feel like the ulitmate bum. Which should be cool right?

School will never ever be the same.:(

It's gonna be a new life for me. And I'd better not screw this one up.

But I still feel empty, maybe blank.
Not in the emo sense, ok? But maybe if this were Sims, my Aspiration level would be red.

Maybe it's anticipation or utter uncertainty.
I've no security blanket whatsoever.
So I guess my coping mechanism just makes it all blank so that there wouldn't be any bias, no preconceived notions, no expections.
Just a chance to make it right.

Summer may not have been cool. But this is the Summer I've learned to be a little more determined than ever. And of course accept the inevitable.

Here's to fresh starts and new friends.

Yeah!:-D

Things to do at the Plant

Living near the Powerplant Mall at Rockwell Center has its perks albeit quite pricey. But if you find yourself in the right shops and restaurants, you'll definitely get your money's worth.

So this my take on the best way to spend a day at the "Plant".

So the "ground" floor is where all the entrances are if you didn't park your car in the basement parking. So once you enter, there's Zara, in the other entrances there's Mango, and Starbucks. Ground floor usually has the higher end stuff like Armani and CK, DKNY, some make-up/beauty stores like Beauty Bar, Body Shop, Shiseido, and Lush

So if you want Starbucks coffee, this is the level to be.
Want that perfect mani/pedicure? or even some threading? So go to Beauty Bar and inside you'll find Dashing Diva and a day spa.

So down we go a level, the concourse level. This is where the food and grocery is.
For great gelatos, go to Pazzo.
Heartwarming rice noodles? Pho24.
Savory Asian dishes? Banana leaf (try their Iced tea tarik!)
If you're craving Italian though, I vote Cibo which is in the ground level, outside. Beside Starbucks. They also have in the third floor.
The concourse level also houses True Value, Mr. Quickie, LBC, Office Warehouse, and SM Appliance.

So up up, two levels!

The second floor has Seattle's Best and Diamond Cake Club.
The Cake Club has the most sinful chocolate cake! Best paired with their Sumi coffee.
They also have rich walnut cheesecake, best for sharing!

Archealogy section is also here for those upcoming designer clothes.
The opposite end there's more affordable clothing at the Hip Stop.
Craving sisig? There's Dencio's right behind Figaro coffee.
There's also a National bookstore in this level.

Now, the Cinema level, third floor. There's another Starbucks here, Jamaican patties, Oliver's Super Sandwiches and gadgets and Powerstation for those who want to give virtual racing a go or just rock with guitar hero.

Fully Booked has Press cafe! I loooove their iced tea, chocolate gelato, chicken roulade, cheezy eggplant and pressadillas! They also have Tarot card reading sessions!

Opposite end is kiddie land where all the kiddie stuff is. Royce' is also in that area along with Lulubelle yogurts!

If you get bored you could always go to Block 9 or the Jungle!
They have Starbucks, UCC, Grams, Pancake House, and Cantinetta.

Soms is also walking distance if you want no-fuss authentic Thai.

So basically, these are the essentials for me haha.
Enjoy!

To visit their website, click the title of this post.

To do: Lose Weight!

Ok, looking and browsing and drooling over those fashion blogs just made me want to shed some pounds! Admit it, it's easier and way more fun to dress when you don't have to worry about the awful and unsightly bulges in the wrong places.

So as motivation and to track my progress, I've decided to post a "before photo" taken within this week. But of course, I'm vain enough not to post those pictures that make me look like some mushroom. I know I look like a dumpling no need to show-slash-prove it to the world!

So here is the fairly presentable "before pic" I'll be posting to see if there are any improvements a MONTH from now. Yes, countdown begins Monday, baby!

Photo taken with my friend who I cropped out haha

Ok, so less sweets for me and more exercise.

I hate getting fat :(
I feel sluggish and lethargic and all frumpy!
So here's to motivation.
I'll probably just plan out what to wear come school time, that should get me off my ass.

Britpop favourite!

This is the Narcissus Road Album cover taken from their website.

Ever since I heard them in a Topshop store in Bournemouth I couldn't stop humming to their song.

They're not exactly what I'd consider mainstream which I think adds to their whole appeal. You know it's something real and raw.

I love you more than my record collection
I love you more than my football team
I love you more than my Adidas trainers
If you knew me better you’d know how
Much that means...

And there's so much coolness in the song ("I Love You More").

It doesn't quite define what love is for a person, it's how much he does love her. And goes to such personal level. It's not melodramatic or wordy or highfalutin.

With a their catchy lyrics and oh-so-Brit vocals, it's refreshing!

I've tried to look for their CDs here but to no avail.

If you want to listen to their songs for FREE and find out more about the band just click on the title of this blog.

Original design

I wanted to use this design:

but I'm quite illiterate when it comes to HTMLs and CCSs
so I decided to go for a safe plain no-fuss background.
Maybe I could use this somewhere else.